Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Feeling sorry for my self

As I sit here typing tears run down my cheeks and I have no idea why my life is so screwed up in my mind.I am destined to clean toilets for the rest of my life and I am so pissed off and bummed about this. I applied for a chance at building  a career and ended up with a job cleaning others peoples shit off of toilet seats, a job that I am going to have to do for the rest of my working life and no one  not my friends not my child and NOT MY HUSBAND understand how I can be so heart broken.
 If you have read my blogs you know the story I was well on my way in Wawa to having a nice career,and then Wawa changed things so that I lost my career and became an employee again with no future.Life in my job got less then pretty.
 I applied for a very good job in Wawa that is just perfect for me and I know I would do better then just about anyone. I didn't even get an interview.What did I do that was so wrong?Why am I destined to clean other peoples poop off of public toilets

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

2 miles 2 hrs 2 1/2 yrs old...

This past week end we had the pleasure of Madeline's company. The weather was a sweet 60ish degrees with blue skies and bright sunshine. The whole weekend Sat. and Sun were the kind of days that make you think spring is here( even though you know it is not,and at any moment mother nature could dump 10 inches of snow on you)and you can't help yourself you absolutely must be out side.Well on Sunday we packed layers of clothing,bottles of water and an extra pull up into the car and loaded ourselves in as well,and off we went in search of the perfect park for that day.
 The park required only a few things to be perfect clean safe swings and slides and most important KIDS. We find a state park with a cute playground settled nicely in the woods,swings,3 slides rocks fake and real to climb,walls to climb and a swaying bridge to cross and most important KIDS.
 The ages are just perfect one Nick is 4,  Madeline is 2 1/2 and the youngest girl Shea is18 months. All the kids are playing great together sliding, swinging, climbing walls and at one point the 4 yr old Nick tells Madeline the story of the big bad wolf.It was so unexpected and sooooooooooooo cute.Then in one quick moment 18 month old Shea misstepped and went head first down the steps. She was amazingly all in one piece but daddy wisely thought it would be best to take Shea home to Mom for some hugs and kisses and an ice pack..That was the end of a very good play date.We say our goodbye and hope that all is well with Shea.
 Madeline is not ready to leave the park so we go on an adventure(never once thinking we are about to take a two hr hike traveling 2 miles with a two yr old and no stroller)down the path looking for a bridge.We come across a set of twisting steps,"this not a bridge" is said with the eyebrows drawn together and her face says she is wondering what granmama is up to.She bounces down the steps any way and finds ROCKS at the bottom of the steps. Rock are much more precious then gold on this trip.
 After taking time to pick up the perfect stones Madeline looks up the path and sees a Bridge.With a shout of glee and a smile brighter then the sun she takes off running in her baby steps(it is almost  a tip toe step as opposed to a run) to reach the bridge. Once she got there she is standing on the bridge with a what now look on here face until a rock PLOOPED into the water.Then there was no question what to do on the bridge.Many little stones went thru the rails of that bridge.Bringing untold pleasure to one little girl.
We tossed every stone in our hands into the water from that bridge and Madeline said her favorite word MORE.So we walked on picking up more stones and looking for another bridge to throw them from.
 At one point we pass a mile marker that tells us we have traveled 3/4's of a mile.I look at husband and wonder if we should  turn around and go back before we have to carry a little girl and she gets  heavy.Dezdezk(polish granpa) says it will be ok lets keep going.So we do very very slowly.Madeline has to stop every few feet to pick up more stones.
We come across 3 more little bridges and each bridge gets it fair share of stones and laughter.People walking by can't help but slow down and smile at this little beauty  having such a good time tossing stones.
 By the 1 1/2 mile marker Madeline is slowing down but totally not willing to be carried, there are way to many rocks to pick  up.
 As we were slowly  meandering down the path we come across the mother of all walking bridges.It spans about a 1/4 of a mile across A body of water  that contains water birds of all kind like a Blue Heron,and most importantly DUCKs.This inspires Madeline to sing 3verses of Old McDonald all of them  about ducks and a quack quack here and a quack quack there.She stops every couple of feet to toss her stones in the water,luckily we had a very large stash of rocks for this bridge.
 That being the last bridge on the trail and we had just a little bit more to go on the trail to get to the end  we needed to find another distraction for Madeline.She was still stopping every 2 steps to pick up stones,we were never going to  finish this walk at this pace.So I picked up a handful of stones and so did Dezdezk every time she would start to bend down one of us would turn and say look Madeline I got a rock for you and she would squeal with glee and run her run to catch up and get the rock out of our hands. Her little hands were so full of rocks that she couldn't hold another one.She refused to drop any so she could get the new one, I showed her how to put the rocks in her pocket. This was a whole new game and she was all about playing it.She would slow down and put the rock in the pocket and then hurry up and catch back up to us to get more rocks for her pocket. At on point as Bill and I are standing waiting for Madeline to catch up and she is coming along very very slowly as she checks her pockets to make sure the rocks are still there.Bill says let Dezdezk carry you the answer was a firm NO.
 We continue on for a few more feet and we can see she is really done so Bill just walks over and picks her up,Madeline very cutely says "Don't take rocks out of my pocket" Dezdezk tells her he won't she can keep her rocks.Madeline puts her head on the Dezdezk's shoulder and before we finish the last 100 feet to the car with her hands on her pocket and a smile on her face Madeline closed her eyes and was a sleep.
 I wonder what her mom and Dad thought when they went to hang up her coat and it was as heavy as if she was in it....
   So the 2 1/2 yr old Madeline walked 2 miles on her own 2 feet in 2 hrs.A very big feat for such a little girl.
   What a perfect day!